A- Z blog challenge

L is for…


Love and Loss.

I’m only 35 years old and I have already met my quota for loosing loved ones.

I always knew I would lose my sweet grandmother, a woman who helped raise me, before I was 30.  My gram was born in 1916 and I was born in 1980 . She entered retirement just when my parents split and my mother and I went to live with her. Loosing my gram when I was 23 hit me hard.

My uncle and I were the last ones to see her before she passed. At the wake I was the last one to leave the room after the service. My uncle just about had to carry me out.

She was a few weeks shy of 87.

Ive had great aunts and uncles pass away that I barely knew. my uncle Edgar ( uncle Ed) was one of my grandmother’s brothers and visited a few times a month when I was in my middle to late teens .He passed before my gram but we didnt tell her . With the Alzheimer’s we didnt think she would know who we were talking about. He was a great guy.

My mom fought a good 11 month fight against brain cancer. I regret not selling everything I had to be back in Florida with her. I didnt let myself believe my mom would die.I thought the chemo and radiation would be enough to shrink down the tumor.

Its only been 4 years since I lost her but it still feels like yesterday that I had to say goodbye to her over the phone. She was in a hospice towards the end. I’m glad my step dad Randy was there with her. Sometimes to get me through the day I tell myself I just talk to her yesterday or a few days ago and shes doing fine. Tending to her garden, taking her pug Max for walks, or maybe shes on the road with Randy . He was a truck driver.

A few other people worth mentioning are my gram’s friend Helen, who was like another grandmother to me. Leo, my grandmother’s fiance , the only grandfather I knew. Big Ed and Jay, a few school friends. My older cousin’s mother inlaw Joan. my ex sister in law Joanie.my ex mother in law,Marty. Another friend I had as an adult who dragged me back to MA, Randy. (not the stepdad) and my moms best friend growing up, Karen. And recently my aunt Donna, a sister of my father’s.I miss these people and I am glad I had them in my life

A- Z blog challenge

K is for…

I can’t knit . I must admit that. I started, I failed and I haven’t picked up my needles since. ( its been almost a year).

I am sure I will pick up my needles again.  I just need a really good project to get me going other than a scarf or hat. I can crochet those. I need something that I can’t crochet. That only knitting it will make it beautiful.

I have these needles that my fiance bought me. They didn’t cost much and if I applied enough force I could easily break them. But I love them just the same. IMG_2510[1]

Blog Challenges, NaBloPoMo14

1 Picture of me ( #NaBloPoMo post)

The last of the 10 day blog challenge. We made it to #1 !!!!! YAY!  Its an easy one… just a picture. But I hate pictures of myself. The pictures you see around WP are from a few years ago if not more. I look the same. Same hair color,same hair style. has not changed since I was a kid. I look weird without bangs.

But today is 1 Picture. I can not get around this.

The pic below is when I was at my lowest in life. I lost my job, lost my apartment , I was back in MA      (not a bad thing) . I was living in my car. Its where I lived for about 2.5 months ( a month in Florida where I was living and about a month and a half in MA.)  Once my younger cousin found out I was back in MA and living in my car ,  his dad, (my uncle), came and got me. I was parked in a Walmart parking lot with the campers. I stayed with them ( in the home I grew up in ) for about a year. I will forever be thankful to that part of my family.

picture was taken at Dighton Rock in Dighton, MA
picture was taken at Dighton Rock in Dighton, MA
Blog Challenges, NaBloPoMo14

2 Songs

Whooooooo we are almost done with this blog challenge but not NaBloPoMo.

Here are 2 songs I love at the moment….

Shake it off by Taylor Swift. The video is cute

Buzz Kill by Luke Bryan – He tells it how it really feels when most people see their ex!

Bonus: 2 Singers/bands I adore at the moment

Lea Michelle. the girl can sing!!!

Thousand Foot Krutch- where has this band been hiding?

Blog Challenges, NaBloPoMo14

3 Fears

my 3 fears.

Zombie Apocalypse. I’d kick ass but still scared it will happen.

Big spiders! OMG I hate spiders !! I don’t mind killing the small ones but when I see a slightly bigger spider than a daddy long legs I freak the f*ck out. Just like my mother.

Sink holes…. those bastards can pop up anywhere. I should say cave in anywhere . Have you seen the damaged it did to the Corvette Museum?