A- Z blog challenge

L is for…


Love and Loss.

I’m only 35 years old and I have already met my quota for loosing loved ones.

I always knew I would lose my sweet grandmother, a woman who helped raise me, before I was 30.  My gram was born in 1916 and I was born in 1980 . She entered retirement just when my parents split and my mother and I went to live with her. Loosing my gram when I was 23 hit me hard.

My uncle and I were the last ones to see her before she passed. At the wake I was the last one to leave the room after the service. My uncle just about had to carry me out.

She was a few weeks shy of 87.

Ive had great aunts and uncles pass away that I barely knew. my uncle Edgar ( uncle Ed) was one of my grandmother’s brothers and visited a few times a month when I was in my middle to late teens .He passed before my gram but we didnt tell her . With the Alzheimer’s we didnt think she would know who we were talking about. He was a great guy.

My mom fought a good 11 month fight against brain cancer. I regret not selling everything I had to be back in Florida with her. I didnt let myself believe my mom would die.I thought the chemo and radiation would be enough to shrink down the tumor.

Its only been 4 years since I lost her but it still feels like yesterday that I had to say goodbye to her over the phone. She was in a hospice towards the end. I’m glad my step dad Randy was there with her. Sometimes to get me through the day I tell myself I just talk to her yesterday or a few days ago and shes doing fine. Tending to her garden, taking her pug Max for walks, or maybe shes on the road with Randy . He was a truck driver.

A few other people worth mentioning are my gram’s friend Helen, who was like another grandmother to me. Leo, my grandmother’s fiance , the only grandfather I knew. Big Ed and Jay, a few school friends. My older cousin’s mother inlaw Joan. my ex sister in law Joanie.my ex mother in law,Marty. Another friend I had as an adult who dragged me back to MA, Randy. (not the stepdad) and my moms best friend growing up, Karen. And recently my aunt Donna, a sister of my father’s.I miss these people and I am glad I had them in my life

A- Z blog challenge

K is for…

I can’t knit . I must admit that. I started, I failed and I haven’t picked up my needles since. ( its been almost a year).

I am sure I will pick up my needles again.  I just need a really good project to get me going other than a scarf or hat. I can crochet those. I need something that I can’t crochet. That only knitting it will make it beautiful.

I have these needles that my fiance bought me. They didn’t cost much and if I applied enough force I could easily break them. But I love them just the same. IMG_2510[1]

Blog Challenges · NaBloPoMo14

1 Picture of me ( #NaBloPoMo post)

The last of the 10 day blog challenge. We made it to #1 !!!!! YAY!  Its an easy one… just a picture. But I hate pictures of myself. The pictures you see around WP are from a few years ago if not more. I look the same. Same hair color,same hair style. has not changed since I was a kid. I look weird without bangs.

But today is 1 Picture. I can not get around this.

The pic below is when I was at my lowest in life. I lost my job, lost my apartment , I was back in MA      (not a bad thing) . I was living in my car. Its where I lived for about 2.5 months ( a month in Florida where I was living and about a month and a half in MA.)  Once my younger cousin found out I was back in MA and living in my car ,  his dad, (my uncle), came and got me. I was parked in a Walmart parking lot with the campers. I stayed with them ( in the home I grew up in ) for about a year. I will forever be thankful to that part of my family.

picture was taken at Dighton Rock in Dighton, MA
picture was taken at Dighton Rock in Dighton, MA
Blog Challenges · NaBloPoMo14

2 Songs

Whooooooo we are almost done with this blog challenge but not NaBloPoMo.

Here are 2 songs I love at the moment….

Shake it off by Taylor Swift. The video is cute

Buzz Kill by Luke Bryan – He tells it how it really feels when most people see their ex!

Bonus: 2 Singers/bands I adore at the moment

Lea Michelle. the girl can sing!!!

Thousand Foot Krutch- where has this band been hiding?

Blog Challenges · NaBloPoMo14

3 Fears

my 3 fears.

Zombie Apocalypse. I’d kick ass but still scared it will happen.

Big spiders! OMG I hate spiders !! I don’t mind killing the small ones but when I see a slightly bigger spider than a daddy long legs I freak the f*ck out. Just like my mother.

Sink holes…. those bastards can pop up anywhere. I should say cave in anywhere . Have you seen the damaged it did to the Corvette Museum?